My experiments with the homo sapien male- Part 1: First Date

I read you post on being a commitment phobic singleton' That was one of my close friends on the phone. I havent spoken to her for more than 6 months and I guess the post triggered her to give me a call and find out whats wrong with this girl. Cant blame her. Having a bf is a full time job by itself and a possessive one is like the cherry on the top. Even new borns dont give you so much teething problems as a new relationship does. Trust me, I can just write a thesis on this subject. Coming back to her. She confessed she hasnt been giving me enough time ( I didnt know we were going around (;-) ) but she was worried about my state of mind. I assured her I was doing great and was actually enjoying my single status, infact more than I ever did since I started dating ! That word was the trigger which could possible be the sole reason for my mobile bills overshooting my credit limit. ' Are you dating?' She asked. I gave a non committal answer. Persistance thy name is my best friend. ' Tell me how many men have you dated lately' I panicked! I could actually count the numbers on my one hand without bothering counting my thumb ' You know how I hate that word babe' I dont hate that word but defence is the best offense during such times. ' Plus in India dating is not such a popular concept. I mean you met a bunch of wierdos who are all out for some TP.' I have had such wierd experiences on dates that I really think twice ( sometimes thrice) before going on one. My bfs have been my close friends and I never really dated them. The men I dated turned out to be wierdos or despos or chipkus or stickers etc. Coming back to her and me. We spend an hour or more discussing the various dates I had been on and their outcomes and suddenly I realised that irritating though these failed dates were I can look back and laugh over a couple of them now. Not that I never had a perfect date but then it was not necessarily with the perfect man. By far the one day which always overshoots my data-o-meter reading for the most absurd date would definitely be my first date ! I never recovered from its aftereffects. Here is an account of the maha event right from the horse's ( mare's) mouth.


First Date: The Sinking Titanic

I had my first date when I was in my second year of engineering. And I still remember that day vividly. Oh the early mistakes of adolescence haunt you forever. I was hugely into online chatting. It was a novelty, required less investment of time and money and was fun. So why not! Those days even creating an email account used to give me such a high. So here was I, online on hotmail with this guy chatting for precisely 1 week. He is 7 years older to me. A decent guy, running his own business and boring. My vacations were round the corner and I had a stop over at his city to meet a few relatives before proceeding for home. He wanted to meet me but I wasn’t all that keen. I mean I wasn’t exactly looking for a boyfriend since I was only in my 2nd year of engineering and really not much interested in getting involved so early. I knew when I said yes to his request it was more of a desire to have some forbidden fun. Or rather my best friend wanted to eat at a fancy place but being students we didn’t have money so she cajoled me go along with it. Of course she was with me. Atleast both of us can have some good food and if he turns out as boring as he sounded we will have each other to while away our time.

First impression-Skinny! Second- Are those wrinkle lines! Third: Nevermind!

He was not only boring but weird. My friend ordered pizza and coke and silently slipped off to the next table to give us some “quality time” to talk. That B**** obviously was enjoying my discomfort. Once she had her needs taken care of I was left to fend for myself. Nursing my coke I could manage some bland answers to his equally bland questions when suddenly he blurted “I really like you and would like to marry you”. I choked on my coke literally. (What the F*** did I get myself into.) I am sitting across a weirdo who just met me a week back and is now completely smitten by me? Get me the mirror people? Did I really miss the next Miss India or Universe the last time I checked myself in the mirror? “You have amazing eyes and hair” Yes, a gift from my mother. “ I like the blend of traditionalism and modernity that you exude” Did he come from the stone age where women rarely wore pants or opened their mouths not only to eat but also to talk. I knew I had to flee. Forget the pizza wasn’t here yet. I could very well see in shuffling on his seat and ready to go down on his knees if I even fluttered a no. I signaled my Best Buddy to save me. She was too busy chatting up with another guy in the next table. Damn B****! She got me into this. I excuse myself to the washroom and frantically gestured her to follow me. Once inside I narrated the entire conversation and there she was rolling on the floor laughing her fat a*** off!
Save me! I pledged a pizza treat. Those days I didn’t have a cell phone but she did. Quickly we launched into a plan to have a friend call her exactly in 10 minutes and we would pretend that my uncle had asked us to come home immediately cause it was getting late.

I fixed up my hair and with a beaming smile went back to the table. All along the way I could feel his eyes on me. Gosh hope he didn’t have X-ray visions. I would kill myself eve if I feature in his wet dreams. I was nauseous even thinking of that possibility. Hold on! It will be over soon I assured myself.
Back to his sweet nothing which were increasing becoming suggestive I counted each and every nano seconds to the 10 minutes. The phone rang! She made the right distressed expression on her face. Rushed to inform me my Uncle was furious. I quickly slipped into my role. Made all the reluctant sounds and noises and rushed out. I swear it was so difficult while I was dancing with glee inside. Sigh my dramatics skills did help.... ( total nautanki hai hum! )
Once in the cab , I punched my friend and warned her not to repeat the act next time!... she made a sombre face and apologised and suddenly we two were laughing out respective ample asses off ! I can never forgot that day. Memories are so vivid even after a decade. And we still pull each others legs over the same...
About the guy.. he was permanently added to my ignore list.. after that incident I was careful about who I date. I would rather meet someone as a friend and see where the conversation continues. This way I do not need to tolerate wierdos ..nor do I raise any expectations from people and well I make great friends !!
The Sinking Titanic will definitely be a chapter in my life that I cant forget.....

( reposting from an old blog )