My experiments with the homo sapien male- Part 1: First Date

I read you post on being a commitment phobic singleton' That was one of my close friends on the phone. I havent spoken to her for more than 6 months and I guess the post triggered her to give me a call and find out whats wrong with this girl. Cant blame her. Having a bf is a full time job by itself and a possessive one is like the cherry on the top. Even new borns dont give you so much teething problems as a new relationship does. Trust me, I can just write a thesis on this subject. Coming back to her. She confessed she hasnt been giving me enough time ( I didnt know we were going around (;-) ) but she was worried about my state of mind. I assured her I was doing great and was actually enjoying my single status, infact more than I ever did since I started dating ! That word was the trigger which could possible be the sole reason for my mobile bills overshooting my credit limit. ' Are you dating?' She asked. I gave a non committal answer. Persistance thy name is my best friend. ' Tell me how many men have you dated lately' I panicked! I could actually count the numbers on my one hand without bothering counting my thumb ' You know how I hate that word babe' I dont hate that word but defence is the best offense during such times. ' Plus in India dating is not such a popular concept. I mean you met a bunch of wierdos who are all out for some TP.' I have had such wierd experiences on dates that I really think twice ( sometimes thrice) before going on one. My bfs have been my close friends and I never really dated them. The men I dated turned out to be wierdos or despos or chipkus or stickers etc. Coming back to her and me. We spend an hour or more discussing the various dates I had been on and their outcomes and suddenly I realised that irritating though these failed dates were I can look back and laugh over a couple of them now. Not that I never had a perfect date but then it was not necessarily with the perfect man. By far the one day which always overshoots my data-o-meter reading for the most absurd date would definitely be my first date ! I never recovered from its aftereffects. Here is an account of the maha event right from the horse's ( mare's) mouth.


First Date: The Sinking Titanic

I had my first date when I was in my second year of engineering. And I still remember that day vividly. Oh the early mistakes of adolescence haunt you forever. I was hugely into online chatting. It was a novelty, required less investment of time and money and was fun. So why not! Those days even creating an email account used to give me such a high. So here was I, online on hotmail with this guy chatting for precisely 1 week. He is 7 years older to me. A decent guy, running his own business and boring. My vacations were round the corner and I had a stop over at his city to meet a few relatives before proceeding for home. He wanted to meet me but I wasn’t all that keen. I mean I wasn’t exactly looking for a boyfriend since I was only in my 2nd year of engineering and really not much interested in getting involved so early. I knew when I said yes to his request it was more of a desire to have some forbidden fun. Or rather my best friend wanted to eat at a fancy place but being students we didn’t have money so she cajoled me go along with it. Of course she was with me. Atleast both of us can have some good food and if he turns out as boring as he sounded we will have each other to while away our time.

First impression-Skinny! Second- Are those wrinkle lines! Third: Nevermind!

He was not only boring but weird. My friend ordered pizza and coke and silently slipped off to the next table to give us some “quality time” to talk. That B**** obviously was enjoying my discomfort. Once she had her needs taken care of I was left to fend for myself. Nursing my coke I could manage some bland answers to his equally bland questions when suddenly he blurted “I really like you and would like to marry you”. I choked on my coke literally. (What the F*** did I get myself into.) I am sitting across a weirdo who just met me a week back and is now completely smitten by me? Get me the mirror people? Did I really miss the next Miss India or Universe the last time I checked myself in the mirror? “You have amazing eyes and hair” Yes, a gift from my mother. “ I like the blend of traditionalism and modernity that you exude” Did he come from the stone age where women rarely wore pants or opened their mouths not only to eat but also to talk. I knew I had to flee. Forget the pizza wasn’t here yet. I could very well see in shuffling on his seat and ready to go down on his knees if I even fluttered a no. I signaled my Best Buddy to save me. She was too busy chatting up with another guy in the next table. Damn B****! She got me into this. I excuse myself to the washroom and frantically gestured her to follow me. Once inside I narrated the entire conversation and there she was rolling on the floor laughing her fat a*** off!
Save me! I pledged a pizza treat. Those days I didn’t have a cell phone but she did. Quickly we launched into a plan to have a friend call her exactly in 10 minutes and we would pretend that my uncle had asked us to come home immediately cause it was getting late.

I fixed up my hair and with a beaming smile went back to the table. All along the way I could feel his eyes on me. Gosh hope he didn’t have X-ray visions. I would kill myself eve if I feature in his wet dreams. I was nauseous even thinking of that possibility. Hold on! It will be over soon I assured myself.
Back to his sweet nothing which were increasing becoming suggestive I counted each and every nano seconds to the 10 minutes. The phone rang! She made the right distressed expression on her face. Rushed to inform me my Uncle was furious. I quickly slipped into my role. Made all the reluctant sounds and noises and rushed out. I swear it was so difficult while I was dancing with glee inside. Sigh my dramatics skills did help.... ( total nautanki hai hum! )
Once in the cab , I punched my friend and warned her not to repeat the act next time!... she made a sombre face and apologised and suddenly we two were laughing out respective ample asses off ! I can never forgot that day. Memories are so vivid even after a decade. And we still pull each others legs over the same...
About the guy.. he was permanently added to my ignore list.. after that incident I was careful about who I date. I would rather meet someone as a friend and see where the conversation continues. This way I do not need to tolerate wierdos ..nor do I raise any expectations from people and well I make great friends !!
The Sinking Titanic will definitely be a chapter in my life that I cant forget.....

( reposting from an old blog )

Been sometime....

Blogging used to be very therapatic for me until 6 months back.. when i decided to pursue photography as a hobby. I dunno why I ever picked up this hobby. Maybe it as something that got me closer to someone I love.. but its an irony that today I am closer to my hobby and not to that person anymore. Perhaps thats why people always talk about not making anyone your object of affection but rather an inate object or a skill which will stay with you for the rest of your miserable life. My relationship was shortlived ( it has been the case with my prior relationships too) but my affair with Photography continues. Its surprising how I have been a failure in a man-woman relationship all my life but have been excellent in keeping true to my hobbies and career aspirations. I guess i am not really meant for anything emotional with regard to anymore. There is nothing that i can do right where a relationship is considered and there is hardly anything i can go wrong with these other things. Been out of touch with my ex for a week now and trying to give priority to my life... have finally realised there is nobody who can take care of my other than myself... blood tests, doctors, medicines... first priority lately, hobbies and career second, friends and family ( whatever is left of it) is next since i do not wish to get too entangled in emotions anymore ....
I am doing good... maybe in a few months i can say I am healthy too... more tests to go ...mentally i have learnt to block out unpleasant times and thoughts... i have also learnt to block out good memories that hurt and have kept myself extremely busy to have time to ponder.... thats the best i can do .. but then a stray tear does escape once in a while....human after all...
Used to blog at another URL but too many friends know about it.. blogging here is better.. i can keep the pain out for a few hours atleast without having known people relentlessly calling and asking about my well being.
I am doing well.. getting away from someone who was merely adding to more hurt was the best decision of my life ... i do not wish to be treated as just another person in his life.. i deserve better... and I do not think I am ready to settle for anything less...I have one life and I do not wish to have any regrets later.... I have lived well.. loved with all my heart and learnt from all my mistakes... this was perhaps the biggest mistake of my life because I committed it knowingly....
its going to take a long time before I forgive myself for it .... each day is a trial... but each day makes me stronger...
Its me making amends with myself today .....

Meri Aawaz Suno !

As she breathes her last once the ventilator is taken off perhaps this is what she would have wanted to say. Inorder to protect her identity I cannot disclose her name , hence she will be Sanju for this post.
It is a very sad and depressing day at office. Sanju is battling for her life in the hospital. She will be taken off the ventilator after a few hours since the doctors have already shaken their head on her fate. Sanju is someone who I have never met. I only know her as an employee of my organisation. A mere name in my line of work. And tomorrow nobody will know who Sanju was, her memories will slowly diminish as her family learns to live without her. On a second thought they already have. She had not been in touch with them since 2005 so I guess it wouldnt be such a blow for them too.

I do not what she is like. I think i should say what she "is" like since she is still alive, though barely. Was she the fun loving happy go lucky girl that several people call me? or was she shy and an introvert, someone whom I have always looked up to as a museum specimen. Whoever she is , only people who had come in contact with her would know, her family, her friends, her husband?

I do not think her two timing, son of a bitch husband would have ever known or would ever know what she was. If he had he wouldnt have been the cause of her sorry state rigth now.

Ladies and Gentleman, Sanju is not on the ventilator because she is gravely ill. Sanju is there because she jumped off a moving train to end her life. Sanju is there because her husband drove her to take the extreme step. He is a cold blooded murderer.

Last night drama unfolded at the hospital where Sanju was brought in a very critical condition. She had an accident on the tracks and was rushed to the hospital by the good hearted station master ( may God bless such men). From what became apparent from the discussions. She fell of the train near the station on harbour line and when the station master reached the place they found her cellphone ringing and her "brother" asked the station master to take her to the hospital immediately. The so called brother turned out to be her husband who lives in a Tier II town in India. Since she was alone in the city, her parents who live elsewhere were also informed and once they rushed in things became more apparent.
She had abandoned her family in 2005 when they resisted her relationship with Vikrant, her colleague in the Tier 3 B School where she was a teacher. Vikrant married her and even her parents were not aware of the liason. To make relationships more strained she also filed a police complain again her father and live was good for her.

Little did she know that the person for whom she has abandoned her is infact cheating on her with another woman. Very conveniently he was on the verge of marrying another woman when he asked Sanju to settle down in Mumbai asap and he will join her soon. Blind in love she joined my organisation and came down to Mumbai. Vikrant married the other woman and Sanju's bubble burst yesterday.

I do not know what she and Vikrant spoke on the phone before she took the ultimate step but I dread to feel that helpless and lost that there was no other way other than taking the ultimate step. What a waste of a beautiful life.

And Vikrant goes scotfree. Her father is too simplistic to file a case against him ( understandable since he still have daughters to marry off and in a double standard country like India such a scandal will kill all their chances). Vikrant's new wife, very conveniently fooled by her innocent husband ( "darling, this girl was mad about me and was stalking me") is also a partner in his crime since she too was lying through her teeth at the hospital to protect him. Imagine he deleted all her cellphone records to wipe off all traces of his and her conversation.

He should be castrated! Made to pay for killing her, made to pay for destroying her life and her dreams. Men are such bastards and beleive me I have come across a few such specimen. Sometimes I wonder how can their conscience allow them to do this. Do they not fear God? Do they not have any compassion for others? They just take and leave and never turn back to see how many pieces has this person destroyed herself into.

Sanju was weak. It was her blind love and faith in such a bastard which made her so weak that she couldnt see herself getting out of it and took the cowards way out.

Or was this step the bravest thing that she has every done?

We would never know, because Sanju will not come out of that ICU and be around to tell us. We wish she would, there would be several of us standing behind her to get Vikrant behind the bars, even if her family abandons her this time like she did a few years back.

Wish there was something that we could do. Wish we could just lynch the guy and teach every other such male in the world a lesson on treating women like dirt, and also send out a message to every women who is in such a situation that please, please do not lose hope yet , reach out a hand and there are people who care...

Nobody will miss you Sanju , the world will go on. Had you lived and fought maybe a few more women like you would have been inspired to fight along with you. Who will know your story other than a few of us who caught the gossip in the office corridors. Who cares anyway what your trying to tell us in your silence.

I wonder how many of us will recollect you and your story after today ... you went silently and left a lot a questions unanswered ..

May you find peace after this... God Bless You.

Dho Dala !

This aint an advertisement for a detergent commercial .. am sure we have had plenty of them scream out from the idiot box and asking us to buy falana falana powder for the safeedi ki jhaal and the no stains look :D

Last wednesday I was at doing something I always wanted to do ! well it is one of the many things that I wanted to do .. I went to watch a live IPL match at Wankade Stadium ( Chennai Super Kings Vs Mumbai Indian !! Let me just specifiy here that I am no bat kissing cricket junkie, infact I can barely stand the game. I would rather watch a football match and see those hunks sweat it out like real men ;)

Anyway I got free tickets and well free ke cheezo ko kabhi na nahin karna chahiye .. So went for the match with family and my my I did sweat it out like a horse there ! Temperatures were soaring in the sweltering Mumbai heat ..and it was 8 pm at night !!!!

The place was packed to capacity and we could rarely find a place to stand and cheer. Somehow managed to wriggle our ample butts into minscule benches and we were ready for the match .. since we went late we missed the initial 2 overs and the bhagam bhag for a place to seat made us miss another over. Once settled in we tried to find out known faces from the field..

Yaar TV par to saaf saaf dikhte hai par they look like ants on the field.Ko nahin we managed to locate a few of them through trail and error methods ( err.. Dhoni toh wicketkeeper hai so he is that short guy there, Sachin would be that short and fat person on the field). Chalo koi bhi ho .. par mast experience tha ..

Though i had rivulets running down my spine and hair I was least bothered.. I was enjoying the experince of watching a live match. And wow .. now I knw what they call crowd dynamics ! The entire stadium was in one unison.. cheering on Aaiya Le Mumbai Indians ! .. The festivity reminded one of the Brazilian carnivals, lots of drums, lots of sweat and lot of human beings singing in one voice " Ganpati Bappa Mooorya " " Sooorya Soorya ( for jayasurya)" "Dhoni Sucks!" and what not !...

Seriously Chennai Super Kings didnt stand a chance ! All through the time the crowd cheered on with gusto and whoa ! who wouldnt get swayed with so much energy .. am sure our morale was boasted 1000 folds and Mumbai Indian played .Though Chennai managed a very good score by cross 150+ runs but the moment stalwart Jayasurya showed his mettled and made puddle out of all the bowlers we couldnt hold back our joy .. I was a part of the innumerable mexican waves that started ebbing and flowing and boy o boy I couldnt stop screaming and jumping around as one ball after another hit the stands ! Sixes ! Fours! All your wishes granted without a trickle of sweat ! Surya proved despite everything he still is a force to reckon with on the field. Sachin was a poor shadow of his earlier self and disappointed everyone .. but then I never like him :P..after an intensive 3 hour game ..Finally Dhoni ke bacho ko Mumbai ke chokro nein Dho Dala !

My first experience, something which I wanted to do out of novelty but I think the only way am gonna love this game is watching it LIVE ! I simply hate it on the idiot box !

thank God I didnt get tickets for the "FIXED" match between Kolkata Knight Riders and Mumbai Indians.. though I caught it on TV I found it utterly yawnable !

Back to the mundane activities I do as an excuse for work !